Homeschooling and Chronic Illness- an Interview and Prayer Journal

We’ve been homeschooling since the oldest entered 3rd grade in 1987, with a ‘sabbatical’ after ten years when I went through an especially rough time health-wise..

Our oldest is married and doing software technical support for medical information systems. Our second son is also married, a director of catering services at the local university and serving on his church praise team every week. Our 3rd son is a junior at Liberty Univ, majoring in communications with a minor in government, our 4th is a sophomore at Messiah college with a double major in Anthropology and Philosophy, and our youngest is a high school junior, still homeschooling and taking classes at the local umbrella school.

I’ve always been excited about how homeschooling gives us the freedom to equip each child in unique ways and the close relationships that come from shared experiences. I’ve also always appreciated that it means I don’t have to wake up as early in the morning as parents using conventional schools!

For me, consistency. We functioned for many years without any outside accountability [such as umbrella schools or state guidelines] and it took a lot of energy to  stay accountable to every child on a regular, day in and day out basis.

Physically, I have COPD, which is a chronic, progressive lung disease that limits my ability to use oxygen. I was diagnosed 10 years ago, and have been on supplemental oxygen full-time for the past 4 years. I get out of breath easily, and have less energy for everything. There is a great essay using spoons as an analogy that sums it up pretty well: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/ There is no cure for now, short of a lung transplant at some point in the future. Emotionally, I’ve been diagnosed with an alphabet soup of mental illnesses, but chronic depression, mood disorders and PTSD are the ones that keep life fascinating. There are other issues, like diabetes, that have less of an impact on my daily life but are still always there. I really hate having to fill out health questionnaires…

Pacing myself. I have learned to ‘work a little, rest a little.’ Some days I rest a lot, but on days when I have more energy I take advantage of it. I’ve also gotten over my pride about pretending i have it all together with my kids. if we do math lessons while I’m in bed, so be it. I’ve also worked very hard to teach the boys to be independent learners, using weekly contracts and other tools.  My husband is a huge part of why we can still homeschool. As my limitations increase, he has picked up more of the household stuff so I could focus on educating our sons.

I couldn’t imagine facing this alone. Knowing that God loves me and has a plan in all of this even when I don’t get it makes all the difference in my attitude. I know He is at work IN me and THROUGH me to accomplish His purposes. I am just along for the ride.  When i first went on oxygen I felt very fearful and vulnerable, but over time He brought reassurance and peace. I definitely pray more now, and spend more time in the Word than I did when I could be more physically active.

I am not close to my family of origin, so my brothers and sisters in Christ have always been my family, in both homeschool and church communities.  Connecting with other believers on a regular basis is an important part of maintaining my emotional balance. I’m actually an introvert and find time around people tiring, but it is absolutely essential for me to make that investment. Serving others brings me joy, and its impossible to do that if I live as a hermit.

Don’t try to be a lone ranger. Admit you can’t do it all alone and ask for help, first in prayer to your heavenly Father who provides ALL you need, and also to those around you. Give your kids the chance to be independent, and to help you. I used to feel guilty that I wasn’t cooking, but guess what? My son loves to do that now that I got out of the way! The blessings can be missed if you focus on the loss. Acknowledge the loss of health, freedom, whatever it is for you, but then move on. if you’re still here, God has work for you to do! It won’t be the same as what you would have done if you were healthy, but it still matters. A hard thing for me is managing expectations. I tend to think I should be able to do more than I actually can, and then I beat myself up. Learning to accept my limitations without feeling defeated is a conscious choice I have to make each day.